July 9 (Bloombirg) -- Top investment bank Credit Sussie is said to be offering US$4m per year for the oracle octopus Paul to head its proprietary trading operations. Credit Sussie says its will convert part of its trading floor into a fish tank for Paul and put boxes of different markets, stocks, indices, equities and bonds for Paul to chose from. They expect this will translate into a more profitable business for them. Paul will also work closely with Head of Global Strategy and formulate recommendations on asset allocation and strategy.
However, rumours are circulating that rival Merrell Lunch is also bidding to sign Paul on in order to replace its entire research team. Paul's agent states "Paul is considering his options carefully" and will allegedly decide after making a call on the general direction of the US Dollar (See attached photo). The decision involving clam filled boxes labeled Credit Sussie and Merrell Lunch will be broadcast live from the NYSE trading floor later today.
P/S - This is written by someone else. I copied and pasted.
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