How to steal and get caught?

Case 1

Plan - Two young men came up with the idea that they can walk into Corporate HQ, buy $500,000 worth of vouchers, pay for it with a cheque and use the vouchers to buy everything they want for a wonderful Christmas.

What are the things they did not think about?

1. Whose cheque should they use? Take one from your father's or my father's cheque book?
2. They will walk into Corporate HQ without any costume/disguise as nobody will remember their faces.
3. The maximum time window they have to use the $500,000 vouchers would be between 4pm today and 2pm on Wednesday assuming Corporate banks in the cheque on Tuesday and the Bank actually inform Corporate that their cheque has been dishonoured on Wed.
4. They do not have to plan on what are the things that are the most expensive and most portable to buy and carry to their car.
5. At $2,000 per laptop, they just need to buy 250 laptops from 10 supermarkets. At $100 per can of abalone, we just need to buy 5,000 cans. They don't care whether they have enough stock.
6. They also don't care about how to convert the merchandise in cash.
7. They don't have to worry about security cameras located at shopping malls filming their biggest crime of the month.
8. They will just wait at Hougang and Bukit Batok conveniently for the police to visit them.
9. They don't need to plan their escape by driving 250 laptops/5,000 cans across the Causeway or get a boat to ferry to them to don't know where.

Merry Christmas

Case 2

Plan - A serial shoplifter bought and collected two Hermes bags worth $67,500 from an online shop. She managed to convince the seller that she has banked in the money.

What are the things that the serial shoplifter did not consider?

1. The online shop could trace her from the basic information that she has given eg. email address or handphone number or location of delivery.
2. She could be traced to her IP address.
3. She just want to know how $67,500 Hermes bags feel like and did not know it is a crime.
4. Of course, she wasn't thinking about running anywhere.

F1 sham?

When Felipe Massa let his Ferrari team mate, Fernando Alonso passed and subsequently win the German Grand Prix, do you still want to classify F1 racing as a sport or a travelling circus?

A travelling circus where drivers, team managers, sponsors etc are all putting up a multi-billion dollars show which create entertainment where millions of fan pay money to watch.

I saw the title of an article a moment ago.. "How real is the reality show?" Actually whoever gets to stay or whoever get booted at the end of show depends on the rating each participant receives during the show? As ratings mean advertising dollars, the person who ultimately wins the $1million prize monies is actually being rewarded for keeping the show watchable by millions.

Wouldn't you wonder why an Idol would always end to be someone good looking who can somehow sing? Or the idealists would really think the best person did actually win the race?

Paul is talking to Credit Sussie?

July 9 (Bloombirg) -- Top investment bank Credit Sussie is said to be offering US$4m per year for the oracle octopus Paul to head its proprietary trading operations. Credit Sussie says its will convert part of its trading floor into a fish tank for Paul and put boxes of different markets, stocks, indices, equities and bonds for Paul to chose from. They expect this will translate into a more profitable business for them. Paul will also work closely with Head of Global Strategy and formulate recommendations on asset allocation and strategy.

However, rumours are circulating that rival Merrell Lunch is also bidding to sign Paul on in order to replace its entire research team. Paul's agent states "Paul is considering his options carefully" and will allegedly decide after making a call on the general direction of the US Dollar (See attached photo). The decision involving clam filled boxes labeled Credit Sussie and Merrell Lunch will be broadcast live from the NYSE trading floor later today.

P/S - This is written by someone else. I copied and pasted.

Congrats to ladies in table tennis

Whoever you are, wherever you are from, whatever your nationality may be and if you can beat the Chinese National Team, you deserved my applause too.

Well done indeed. This only proved the point that we are only human / everyone and everything has its day off and with a bit of luck (the sun,, moon and all the other planets are in alignment), an undefeated champion can be defeated. 100% consistency in performance is for machines at its best. As machines too are known to fail ie. my car has to be towed to Mitsubishi Centre recently for a leaking radiator. $400 later, problem solved. Pain.

The Jap PM announced its resignation recently. A political suicide/political bravado? from day one when he announced and possibly without checking the facts and the political terrain first, he promised to move a foreign military base. Goodbye to u anyway.

Who can enter Singapore casinos?

a casino taking shape

THE National Council on Problem Gambling (NCPG) yesterday announced the launch of Third-Party Casino Exclusion Act.

The Act bars undischarged bankrupts as well as members of households that are receiving public assistance from entering casinos.

According to NCPG, it will bar 28,661 persons covered by the Act automatically from the casinos.

Taking away people who are underaged, people who will never gamble, perhaps civil servants, bank officers, teachers, accountants, doctors.. perhaps we won't have many Singaporeans or Singapore permanent residents left who can enter the casinos here.

Dr Martin Huang

It was reported in Saturday's ST that a doctor by the name of Dr Martin Huang, who runs The Cosmetic Surgery Centre at Paragon, has been censured and fined for injecting sheep foetal cells into three of his patients.

For what? The sheep foetal cells is supposed to slow down ageing and to rejuvenate. The process is called cell therapy. He has also done the procedure on himself.

Perhaps a few years later, we could be reading another news article on an interview with Dr Huang and one of his patients.

Journalist - Both of you certainly look very youthful and radiant. But I notice you have a long streak of beautiful white fur like hair from your chin while Mary has some black hairs on her hands. How come?

Doctor - I feel great. I injected myself with the best foetal cells from New Zealand sheeps. As to Mary, she wanted cheap and good... so I gave her the Malaysian goat foetal cells instead..

After the interview, the doctor and Mary were heard to be arguing in the next room.
Click here to listen to their conversation .

My first Singapore F1 experience

10 metres from the roaring engines

Shenton Way from where we sat

IR in the background

people watching with me

F1 is a joke?

F1 in trouble?

I can't believe it when Renault actually admited that the crash by one team mate in Singapore last year was actually staged to allow his team mate to win the chamionship.

The team's top two persons resigned to take responsibility. The team may have to pay a fine in excess of USD$100mio. I am wondering whether last year's results in Singapore F1 circuit is allowed to stand.

I am also wondering why is it wrong for one team mate to do something to help another team mate to win a race. Team mate is allowed to use his car to block other cars passing his team mate's. But you are not allowed to crash your car to help your team? Then why do the F1 ruling body allow each team to field two cars in the first place?

Are you not asking for trouble?

Another Singtel mindgame?

Its $30 voucher to buy a phone OR $8 rebate per month for 24 months' contract.

If you choose to buy a new phone in the middle of the 24 months, rebate stops.
But if you terminate / downgrade / temporary suspend your contract, you will have to pay:-
$8 x no. of months with rebate plus $50 adminstrative fee.

What is Singtel trying to achieve?
Try to buy your loyalty (AGAIN, as in 2nd attempt) for 24 months with this kind of crap deal in my humble opinion. My loyalty is worth more. Perhaps Singtel should more loyalty to your customers with a sincere deal.

What do you think?

Climb Mt. Everest for what?

Excuse me, why 6 beautiful ladies spent so many years of their lives and so much of don't know whose money, preparing and finally successfully scaling the Mt. Everest?

Can someone explain to me from their point of view?

Stop throwing rubbish at my place

Do you have the right to do this to me?

HDB's Lease Buy Back scheme - A cynical view

to be ready soon?

While having lunch in a coffee shop in an old neighbourhood about 2 weeks' ago, I heard this man telling his friend about the Lease Buy Back scheme.

What is Lease Buy Back (LBS) Scheme?
For a 3-room flat with a remaining lease of 65 years, the lessee can sell the tail end of the lease back to HDB ie. 35 years for:-
a) you still get to stay in your current flat for the next 30 years;
b) $5,000 lump sum payable upfront to you
c) the rest of the payout goes towards an annuity which will pay out a fixed sum of money every month.

Depending on the age and expected mortality rate of lessee, the payout could range up to $800 per month.

I thought this is great as it allows asset-rich-cash-poor people to encash part of their assets.

Guess what the man said about the monthly payout. "In 10 years' time, we may not even get a single cent of the money as the monthly payout will first go towards paying the utilities' bill !!!"

Amazing alternative view :) I must admit I didn't see that coming at that moment.

Good night.

Another cynical story for u

As I was thinking about the Anonymous reader's comment that my made-up hypothesis of Jerry Ee's decision to turn himself was being cynical.

I wish to try to up the ante with this view that I heard from a friend.

On Sunday's Straits Times, the story also mentioned about another old man, who had stayed in a village in Thailand for many years, too decided to turn himself in.

Why? I wonder after all these years.

He is said to be sickly. Thus a logical hypothesis would be for him to come home to Singapore and let the world best health care system take care of him at taxpayers' expense.

Jerry Ee surrenders? How come?

Can you imagine what could happen to someone walking around in Thailand with $8-9 millions worth of watches in his suitcases? The Thai underground network could be abuzz with news of someone trying to sell very expensive and unique watches.

He couldn't sell them off fast enough nor at the right price. He is not sure whether he could leave Thailand.

So probably the best idea would be for him to turn himself in at the Singapore embassy with those watches that are more difficult to sell. Then go to prison for a couple of years. In due time, he could re-unite with those watches that he has kept (estimated cost $3.3mio) or the cash from watches sold (maybe a $1m after discount given).

Jerry, is this your plan?

Background
Jerry Ee, a former Cortina Holdings employee, went missing with $8m worth of luxury watches in December last year. Recently he turned himself at the Singapore embassy in Bangkok.

SCB and OCBC are now on 2

SCB have betted heavily and successfully on the two legs on 50,000 individuals (I think) recently and over the years to run in marathons organised by them.

The light blue Adidas tops seen on many Shenton Wayites during their daily jogs are now worn with pride as a testimony that that the individual wearing that top has earned it through his/her participation in a marathon.

The light blue top now signifies a fitness level sufficient for a marathan (albeit half marathon for some). It is like getting a proficiency badge for a scout or girl guide.

The above demonstrated the use of a sporting event by a corporate entity to promote brand awareness and other objectives very successfully.

In recent time, another bank in the form of OCBC has followed with launch of their sponsorship to promote cycling on 2 wheels, of course. Thousands too turned up.

2-leg vs 2-wheel? Well at this moment, 2-leg is way ahead of the game.

Semua Boleh - A country of U-turns

atms-induced traffic jam at raffles place

A neighbouring country has been observed to have so many u-turns but not on the roads though; but in major political and investment decisions.

Examples of such u-turns:-

• to sell the national cancer centre to a private company, then reversed
• to build a s-shaped bridge, then stopped
• to build one of the largest dam in this region, then stopped
• to build an airport for budget flights, then reversed
• politicians going independent yesterday and back to their incumbent party today
• another gentleman said he will have enough support to take over the government on such such a day - the day came and gone
• to charge higher petrol prices on foreign cars going into the country and then nothing

Do you know of other example?

Huh? Like this also can meh? Selamat pagi :)

20cts more for a cup of coffee?

oops.. no CNY picture

Is it the same as $4 surcharge for a usual $6 haircut applicable two weeks before and after the Chinese New Year?

Or is it the same to pay $48 per kg of Lim Chee Guan's bak kwa after queuing from 4am when perhaps you pay half the price with no queue during normal days?

Are the above 3 situations the same?
To me, they are different and I would behave differently towards each.

Firstly, I am willing to pay 20cts more for the coffee. Why? The coffee was served by a Chinese. I am not being racist here. To be more precise, the Chineses who made and served the coffee have sacrificed their holidays and time with family to provide a service to me.

Second situation - No surcharge would be payable by me here. Why? She is the same hairdresser who cut my hair. The haircut is not done during the immediate holidays.

Third situation - Plain and simple no.
But some may rebuke me by saying what is Chinese New Year without bak kwa.
Then I would reply, "Without bak kwa or without Lim Chee Guan's bak kwa?"
Perhaps another would say, "What would Valentine Day be without flowers?"
Then I would reply, "For every day that we are together, .. blah .. blah blah"

The basic criteria - Is there an opportunity cost suffered by the provider of the product or service? If yes, I will compensate you. Do you agree?

Happy NIU Year, my dear friends.

No news in ST Money?

I have noticed that there isn't much business news in ST Money particularly on Mondays.

Check today's ST ... there is so little news that the editorial team has to slot in book reviews "Overhyped Books".

Are all the business news in Business Times? Or are there really nothing happening in business?

To the extent that no news is actually good news? Smile...

Don't cry..

If your boss come to you today and tell you there is no year end bonus, no increment but got pay cut and force to take compulsory annual leave, don't cry.

But instead we should pray that those guys in power, better get it right QUICKLY.

In the mean time, the many millions of Chinese workers will pray that the factory they are working for would still be around and re-open for business after the Chinese New Year break.

For us here in Singapore, let us hope that the tourists will find some monies under their bed and come and spend them in Singapore, people will continue to buy our electronic chips, pharmaceuticals, financial services (these represents the biggest contributors to Singapore economy).

For those in contruction business, let us hope you will still have something to build (big buildings to even long drains) and more importantly, get paid by the main contractors and developers.

But don't forget to pray for the environment and the mother Earth.
Keep them healthy for our future.

Taksins to divorce

Dear, I wish to discuss with you something.

Yes dear?

I just got off the phone with the lawyers. Thr Brits are cancelling our visas next week. And we will be given 24 hours to leave the country. Tentatively we go Beijing for a couple of weeks.

All right.. I go tell the children. And do some packing..

Dear... hang on..

Yes dear?

This situation cannot continue. I cannot put you and the children through this again and again. Jeff, our lawyer, has actually come with the idea that we should be officially unrelated ie. through a divorce. After which, he could seek the Brits to issue visa to you and the children on sympathetic grounds. Some of the money and assets be distributed to you and the children.

Then how about you, dear?

Don't worry about me for now.. Maybe I will hang around Bermuda or Christmas Island till we can formalise something... So is it ok that I ask the lawyers to do the paperwork?

If you think it is for the best ...

All right then. We will swing by to visit Arat at our Hong Kong consulate to formalise the divorce...

The above is purely fictional.